Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
