Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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