I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
