Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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