I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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