Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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