Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
