Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
