last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I believe in your delicious
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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