ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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