hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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