Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
