I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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