I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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