Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
