I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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