i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm passing your future prison.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
