Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
