Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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