Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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