the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
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