i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
