you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
