I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
