Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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