thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
