it wasn't lemon gatorade
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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