We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
