I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Will you blow on my dice?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
