marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just had sex on a roof
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
