dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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