He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
