when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize