On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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