So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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