Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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