Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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