you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
