i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the condom got lost in my hair
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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