can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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