he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
