Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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