Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize