Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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