it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
