just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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