I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
bring money and cleavage
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
