She is in my trunk
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
