if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
