I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
