bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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