I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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