best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize