So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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