I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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