I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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