Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
