her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
