i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
