Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
