I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
