The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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