I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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